The past year-2014 and the begining of the new year witnessed a lot of unfortunes happened in my life. In the September 22nd of 2014, I broke up with my boyfriend for his endless addiction to online games and unconcern about me, it seemed that he had never thought about our future, to be with him, I couldn't see any hope and I had been bored of lessoning him and wandering between blaming and forgiving, so I decided to give up. However, the three years' love was not that easily be removed, I felt so heartbreaking and sad. On that night, I did not know how many tears I shed. Just when I was still in sadness of my passed love，the other day I received a very urgent call from my sister, telling me that my father was severely illed in the hospital. This was another shock or surprise for me. She also told me that was the second time for my father being sent to the hospital . They choose to conceal the first time because they did not want me to distract from my study. On the train back home, I thought of a lot of things, I felt so sorry for my father, and I realized that I was only a qualified daughter but not the best one. So many years, my father had been playing a hero and model role in my life, while I'd never thought about that he could break down someday. All the way, my brain was full of regrets and fears. For the first time in my life, I felt the fear of losing. After 11hours trip, I finally arrived at the hospital. However, what I saw gave my a tremendous shock. My father was that pale and weak lying in the bed. He was in the emergency room and his life was threatened in every second. I did not know what kinds of words can describe my feeling for that time, maybe still scared. I just sat aside him and saw him silently. All the day and night, I did not dare to close my eyes, because I was so fearful to lose him. In the following days, I accompanied him and did my best to take care of him. Every day , doctors and nurses went back and forth to observe him and gave him injections. I could sense that my father lived in great pains, but I prayed that he could routhly go through those pains and recover from the illness. For a half month, I spent every second in the hospital accompanying him, and telling him about the funny stories happend at school. I took care of him so carefully lest something unexpected should happen. Fortunately, with the tender care of my family and the help from the doctors and nurses, my father was permitted to go back home on the day I left for school. Then I would give my father a call every day to ensure he was in a good situation. Though sometimes he was not that good, I then would persuade myself that he was recovering and it was just a process. The later three months, I consistently telephoned him to tell him interesting things and I felt so enjoyable and happy to talk with him, and I also felt so grateful that my father was fine and I still had a complete family. Very clearly in my mind, it was on the noon of New year's day, my parents initiativelly phoned me, we had a very pleasant talk, I could still remember my parents' laughs . I felt so fullfiled and contented because of my parents' love. With their love, I could overcome all the difficulties, pressures and loneliness. While, I'd never expect that call was the last time I talked with my father. Three days later,at 0:20am,I was called to be back home as soon as possible, because my father was in the worst condition, what I could hear was my mom's crying and my brother's crying. My brain was blank, all were so sudden and dramatic. In the midnight, there was no train, no flight. For the first time, I sensed the long distance between I and my father. I ordered a flight,but it would depart at 7:00 am. I took a taxi rushing to the airport. There I thought a lot , I told myself not to be panic and my father was with me,I never belived that my father was leaving me. On the way, I persuaded myself to be positive. My father had passed by the death door for so many times in his life, and each time he was survived, So I thought this time was of no exception. Even I got off the plane, I still had that kind of thought. A person came to pick me up, I did not know him, he was a friend of my uncle. I kept silent all the way, I intentionally avoid the talk with him, I was feared to know my father's situation from him. But his fast driving ruined all my hopes, as if he was in a race with the life. The distance was closer to my home, but I felt it was farther between I and my father. And when all the guessings and fears were being proved to be true, for the first time, I was so feared and reluctant to be back home. The first sight when I got off the car was a long queue of cars extending from our doorway. The first hearing was very loud funeral music mixed with lots of cryings. It was still blank in my mind, and It was so hard for my to step forward. When I came closer to my house, I saw my sister was in a mourning dress and on her knees crying. I could never forget what was in front of her, a coffin and deadee. It happened so sudden that I couldn't and wouldn't accept. I shouted at my sister and asked her to stand up, I told her my father was still alive and he wouldn't abandon us. I was so angry about my sister's wearing, and I tried to drag it off from her. While, my uncle stopped me, and he with his tears down hold me tightly and told me my father had left. At that moment, the last line of defense in my heart was totally destoryed. I started to realize it had become the fact. I couldn't control my mood and tears. My whole world was collapsed. So many years, my family together went through a lot of hard times. I was the hope of my family and I was the very pride of my father. I had dreamed so many times that I made my parents a better life and I became the very person that my parents relied on. I had promised my father, when I earned money, I would buy him an electric car, I would take him to the places of interest to view the beautiful scenery, and I also promised to take him to enjoy the delicious food home and abroad, I promised to cook for him when I had the winter vacation. But for the time I was having the winter vacation, I was going to graduate from my postgraduate school and going to have a job, when all my dreams and promises were going to be real, my father was not there any more. Nobody would understand my feelings, my sadness, pities and regrets. I felt the destiny must be kidding on me. For the first time, I felt living was not better than dying. And in person, I understood the meaning and feeling of the old saying"A tree desires to stand still, but the wind does not stop. A son desires to serve his parents, but they do not wait ". Though it was that hard for me to calm down and recover from the sadness, the life was still going on. My mother needed to be looked after and she was the most weak and sad person. In front of her, I pretended to be optimistic, and told her my father was not leaving, he was forever be with us, just he was travelling to another world and he hoped we could live better . But, when I was alone, I would hide myself missing my father crying. He was the only person who understood me most. Whatever difficulities I encountered, he would always gave me suggestions.
